Many people are shocked to learn they are victims of domestic violence when their spouses use money to control and punish them during divorce. It’s a common tactic used by abusers to gain power and control in a relationship. The forms of financial abuse may be subtle or overt, but in general include tactics to conceal information, limit the victim’s access to assets, or reduce accessibility to the family finances.
Forms of financial abuse:
- Forbidding the victim to work.
- Sabotaging work or employment opportunities by stalking or harassing the victim at the workplace or causing the victim to lose her/his job by physically battering prior to important meetings or interviews.
- Forbidding the victim from attending job training or advancement opportunities.
- Controlling how all of the money is spent.
- Not including the victim in investment or banking decisions.
- Not allowing the victim access to bank accounts.
- Withholding money or giving “an allowance.”
- Forcing the victim to write bad checks or file fraudulent tax returns.
- Running up large amounts of debt on joint accounts.
- Refusing to work or contribute to the family income.
- Withholding funds for the victim or children to obtain basic needs such as food and medicine.
- Hiding assets.
- Stealing the victim’s identity, property, or inheritance.
- Forcing the victim to work in a family business without pay.
- Refusing to pay bills and ruining the victims’ credit score.
- Forcing the victim to turn over public benefits or threatening to turn the victim in for “cheating or misusing benefits.”
- Filing false insurance claims.
- Refusing to pay or evading child support or manipulating the divorce process by drawing it out by hiding or not disclosing assets.
As with other forms of abuse, financial abuse may begin subtly and progress over time. It may even look like love initially as abusers have the capacity to appear very charming and are masterful at manipulation. For example, the abuser may make statements such as, “I know you’re under a lot of stress right now so why don’t you just let me take care of the finances and I’ll give you money each week to take care of what you need.”
Under these circumstances, the victim may believe that she or he should or can trust the partner she or he is in love with and may willingly give over control of the money and how it is spent. This scenario commonly leads to the abuser giving the victim less and less in “allowance” and by the time the victim decides she or he wants to take back control of the finances, she or he discovers that the accounts have all been moved or she or he no longer has knowledge or access to the family funds.
The Impact of Financial Abuse
The lasting effects of financial abuse can be devastating. In the short-term, access to assets is imperative to staying safe. Without assets, survivors are often unable to obtain safe and affordable housing or the funds to provide for themselves or families. With realistic fears of homelessness, it is little wonder that survivors sometimes return to an abusive partner.
If you recognize financial abuse in your marriage, take these steps:
- Consult with a family law attorney who has experience handling domestic abuse cases. Do not let your spouse know you are seeking legal help.
- Create a safety plan for how to gain independence.
- Open a separate bank account and start building credit in your own name.
- Maintain records as evidence of the financial abuse.
Source = NNEDV